How does this sound this is my letter of appeal for suspended financial aid?

Do you have a writing tutor or academic support services on campus? If so, I would take this letter to them and have them help you with the grammar. Your letter needs a lot of work in that area, and it would give you a foot in the door and make you more comfortable with their services for the future. Even going into database administration, you will need a firm grasp on communication skills.